Friday, November 9, 2012

What's For Dinner?

(A special thank you to my wife's friend, Randy Rank, for this wonderful status update on FB)

"I've decided that for the next week I am simply going to talk like a candidate seeking election."

"OK.. but what do you have planned for dinner?"
"That's a very good question and one I am very glad you asked. I find it important in the equality issue that men spend more time in the kitchen as opposed to the stereotypical model which has kept women oppressed for centuries and kept their wages below par when compared for men in an equivalent role."

"Yes, but what have you actually planned for dinner?"

"My plan, if I can get the cooperation of those that have been opposing and creating havoc in the system for so long will ensure not only that you have dinner, but that all Americans receive a fully balanced and nutritious dinner for the remainder of their lives. Even into their retirement years, a feast of plenty so to speak, in our glorious land of prosperity."

"Holy Mother of Pearl."

"I know many of you have been impatient, and it might be seen that the answers have not been forthcoming but if we show a bit of patience, and work to build a stronger America, then everything will get better. Let me be perfectly clear on this, There is a plan and things will improve."
"How about just getting some &%$#'ing food on the table????!!!!" 
"That's specifically the type of underhanded rhetoric I'd expect. There will be food, and I guarantee that in spite of the concerns, it will be healthy and fully certified by one of my advisors in the administration. Too often I have heard the conspiracy theory platform from some such as yourself that the food is but an illusion. But if elected, as I have said before, there will be food on every table and none, and let me be perfectly clear in this, none will go without! (Wags finger at the camera)."

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